1. The baby monster
This person posts their baby doing all manner of things:  sitting, eating, pooping, laughing, or crying.  Babies are adorable but take it down a notch.  If we wanted that much detail, we would have moved in with you.  Also in this category are, “Hey look at my kid in a baseball outfit!” “Hey look at my kid on skis!” “Hey look at my kid in a car!” “Hey my son got a trophy for showing up to something!  Look at him!  Look!!!”

2. The positive quote junkie
Although I personally used to be a positive quote junkie myself, I never posted them on Facebook.  However, some of my friends are positive quote factories.  It’s like they spend all their time scouring the internet for positive quotes written beneath a picture of a pretty stream and then port them to Facebook as fast as they can.

3. The stupid puzzle person
These people post the “Name a fish that doesn’t have the letter A in it!  I’ll bet you can’t!  ”  Ok, how about ‘trout.’  Aren’t I a genius?  Wow that was hard.  Give me a better puzzle, goddammit!

4. The self-promoting realtor
Yes, we all know you are a realtor.  Your posts in Facebook are like unwanted cards shoved into the crack of my front door or a flyer under my windshield wiper.  Please cease and desist or I will unfriend you.  I wish Facebook had a “e-Slap” button.

5. The annoying partisan
This is that guy or gal who is politically as far toward one end of the spectrum as possible.  They either want to hug trees while eating granola or lobby for making taxes illegal for rich people while simultaneously shooting bears with assault rifles.  Is there no middle ground?

In short, just try to be interesting on Facebook.  Realize that not everyone is enthralled with your micro-interest.  Try to be entertaining…or at least interesting.

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